I explore "Phantom Confabulation" , a crossover between reality and imaginations. The things we tell ourselves and others; the myths, stories, rumours and gossip that create our reality. I tell stories of growing up in Afghanistan and the logic that brought you the Taliban. I poke at the absurdity of our assumed and assigned identities and the preconceptions underpinning it.
I have been developing a story over the last few months and aiming to turn it into a 40 minutes of audio/ video content. below is a summary
Janan was a war orphan in a refugee camp in Pakistan. He was taken in by a Madrasa which looked after the homeless children. Upon graduation at the age of 16 he was given the honorary title of Mullah which became part of his full name signalling his prowess in religious affairs. He joined the Taliban and came to Kabul like many more before him. He thought of himself as doing God's work by removing the corrupt and vile warlords and mending the soviet destruction. However, Mullah Janan's Taliban period was short. The US bombing shocked the Taliban so much that most started fleeing without a fight, but Janan saw it as an opportunity to wage a holy war against the West. This did not end well for him and he barely got away with his life.
I met Janan when we were both 18. I was really suffering, I felt out of place and was looking for any opportunity to escape my life. It's an awful feeling to be trapped in your culture and identity; and desire something unknown. On the other hand Mullah Janan was right where he wanted to be. The world worked in accordance with the scripture he had learned in Islamic books and he was tasked with preserving it. Despite our differences we connected through our mutual passion for sports. But we knew we were the opposite, it was a love - hate relationship but mostly hate. This is 1999 and I lurk in the shadows of Mullah Janan's world. I can't show my face in public much and one time the Taliban discovered my hideout but I was saved by Mullah Janan. I returned the favour and saved him when he was wounded after the fall of the Taliban.
Janan spent the next six years in hiding, hated by the Afghans and hunted by the foreign forces. Former Taliban were ostracised - in obsolete terms and as the ancient Greeks intended; Their punishment was unrestricted sanctions. Social Isolation is the worst kind of punishment. Now that I have lived outside my culture and country I have experienced a tiny bit of social isolation that Janan had suffered, I can confidently say it's not justice but cruelty.
As the years went by many Taliban were killed and it looked like a lost cause so he looked for a new cause. He dropped the title "Mullah" and became Janan again. He assumed a teaching role and then became a Head Teacher in a High School in the outskirts of Kabul. He educated thousands of Afghan children with passion and sincerity. I visited him in his school which he loved. He was killed in a Taliban bomb attack on the school along with dozens of school children.
I saw how Janan's passion for teaching grew over the years and it was his true calling. It wasn't the grandeur of Taliban islamic revivalism but the smaller act of teaching and guiding children. He was one of the most tortured souls looking for a path to conscience. I learned we all have different journeys to conscience and some of us get lost but we owe it to each other to be patient and forgiving.
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